When I fell pregnant in February 99 we were so overjoyed, we
desperately wanted a brother or sister for Alicia and I longed to have a baby in my arms again. The pregnancy progressed fantastically,
I had hardly any morning sickness (which I had suffered badly with when I was pregnant with Alicia) I was getting a nice
big bump, the weather was lovely and we moved into a bigger flat and then on Friday 6th August I had a sudden urge to go and
visit my Mum (she lives about 200 miles away) so I called Kevyn home from work and we set off, we had a lovely weekend
with my Mum and I visited a few friends and we came home late on the Sunday evening. Kevyn went to work on the Monday and
it was later on that evening that I realised I hadn't felt the baby moving much but I just put it down to being busy and told
Kevyn that if I hadn't felt anything by the morning I'd give the hospital a call just so they could check the baby.
So the following morning as I still hadn't felt anything I called
the maternity ward and they told me not to worry but to make my way there in my own time, so we got Alicia ready and
went to the hospital. The midwife came out and got me and took me into a little room so she could listen for the baby's
heartbeat, she thought she could hear it but said she'd arrange an ultrasound scan just to make sure everything was ok. I
was so relieved, if she could hear the heartbeat then there was nothing to worry about.
We went back into the waiting room and within a few minutes
we were called into the ultrasound room, they put that horrible cold jelly on my bump and started the scan, the next
thing I knew the sonographer said, 'I'm sorry there's no heartbeat, I'm afraid you baby has died.'
I don't remember much after that, I do remember the
midwife coming into a little room we had been put in and asking us if we had decided on any names and we said Callum
for a boy and Sophie for a girl and then she said, 'It's a little Callum.' My whole world crumbled at that point,
I was 28 weeks pregnant, I should be looking forward to taking my baby home but instead I had to give birth to my Son
who would never come home with me.
The midwife told us to go home and come back in the morning
for labour to be induced, but I didn't want to go home I wanted them to save my baby.
Finally we got home and then set about calling close relatives,
I remember calling my Mum and telling her as calmly as I could, I remember just one sentance she said to me, 'Oh Serena no.'
Everything about the rest of that day is a blur.
On the morning of 11th August 1999 (the day of the eclipse
here in the UK)we went to the hospital and were taken to a small delivery room, the midwife said we could watch
the eclipse before labour was induced if we wanted and we said we'd like to, I guess it was one way of hanging onto my
baby for just a bit longer.
We looked over the pond at the hospital watching the daylight
fade and in a strange way it was almost watching the life of our son disapear, then as soon as it had finished labour was
induced.
The labour was horrendous, I remember crying that I didn't want
to push, I guess I knew that once my baby was out I'd have to let go of him.
But at 2.34pm afer 2 1/4 hours of labour I gave birth to the
most beautiful little baby I had ever seen, my little Callum. He weighed just 2lb and 7oz but was absolutely perfect in every
way.
I cuddled and kissed him and the midwife helped me dress him,
we took a few photos of him and after just two short hours the hospital chaplain came and took my baby boy away. I would
never see my baby again.
The next week and a half are a complete blur, I have no recollection
of what happened at all, then on Thursday 19th at 7pm there was a service held in the hospital chapel for family and friends
to pay their respects, I somehow managed to get through that but the worse thing was seeing a tiny little wooden coffin, I
never even realised they made them that small.
The following morning at 9.30 we buried our baby boy, there
was just me, Kevyn and the chaplain there, it was our time to say goodbye to our son, when the coffin was lowered into the
ground a part of me was buried too, a part of me that I will never get back, but all of a sudden I wasn't scared of
dying as I knew that when it was my time to go there would be a very special pair of hands waiting to take me away.
We had a postmortem done but they couldn't find a reason for
Callum going to Heaven, I guess he was just too good to be on this earth.
